Pick a Princess

[Louis-Auguste] You're really bad at this.

[Provence] Missed.

Oh, there we go.

[indistinct chattering] [Provence] Ouch.

Oh, are you worried about your beautiful hair?

Don't worry, it's fine.

[both grunting] Ten points if you hit Lamballe.

Your aim is terrible.

You're cheating.

Get off, let go.

[gasps] [Lamballe] What?

Toinette.

Oh, my God.

[Provence] Louis, what are you waiting for?

Jump.

Oh, dear.

[Provence] It's your fault, you idiot.

[gasps] [Lamballe] Oh, thank goodness.

Oh, Antoinette Are you okay?

[Marie Antoinette] I'm fine.

[theme music playing] [serene music playing] Thank you.

Oh, welcome.

Welcome to Fontainebleau, my children, and especially to our little Dauphine, who I am delighted to see has recovered from her ordeal.

Now that we are here on holiday, we can forget protocol.

We are here to relax, have fun... And once again, our Orleans cousin here will take charge of the fete champetre.

We will have the great pleasure of entertaining our villagers.

Any ideas, Chartres?

This year, the theme will be "Merry England".

Ooh!

[Duc de Chartres] My good friend, the Prince of Wales, has been advising me.

It will be charmant.

A perfect opportunity to entertain our new princess, Provence's future wife, when she arrives.

[Marie Antoinette] Come in.

[laughing] [Count Mercy] How you settling in?

Who needs Madam Etiquette?

It appears that you do.

[laughs] I'm teaching Julie to be a ladies' maid.

First impressions of Fontainebleau?

Oh!

It's heaven.

Heaven compared to Versailles.

It's a nice break from routine.

[chuckles] Yes.

But we have a problem.

This is Louis' bed chamber.

As you can see, it has fallen off the schedule of works.

[scoffs] So what?

He doesn't visit me at Versailles.

His position may not have altered.

Yours has.

Has Provence's wife been chosen?

Not yet.

But the quicker your husband moves in, the better.

Bypass the formalities.

What formalities?

Madame du Barry is in charge of refurbishments.

I will speak to Papa Roi.

Don't you think it's time you made peace with the Countess?

I won't be pushed around by her.

You can't win this battle.

She has declared war on me, Mercy.

I shan't be the one to surrender.

Miss Savoy... Is that a shadow, or dirt?

Or a moustache?

That's original.

Miss Spain, you are lovely.

You're perfect.

[Provence] I'm thinking of marrying a Spanish Princess.

[Adelaide] Out of the question.

[Provence] Why?

[Adelaide] There is only one house you should consider, and that is...

The house of Savoy.

Why should I listen to you, Mesdames?

You cannot let her choose for you.

Well, what's so special about Savoy?

Josephine was your mother's first choice for Louis.

Choiseul foisted the Ostrich bitch on us after she passed away.

[sighs heavily] [both] God rest her soul.

[chuckling] [whispers] Shall I tell them now?

[whispers] Yes, yes.

I'd like to propose a toast.

To the Spanish Princess, Provence's future bride.

My turn.

To the Princess of Savoy.

Why are we toasting her?

Well, I've chosen Josephine to be my wife.

Hear.

[whispers] She is my cousin.

Mesdames tell me that Josephine is the princess my brother should have married.

Is it true?

You're making me feel rather giddy, Provence.

Do sit down.

A royal marriage must be entered into... with careful consideration.

-I've made my choice.

-Sit.

You will ask your brother for his permission.

Eat.

[Joseph] Rohan.

Welcome to Vienna.

[Rohan] Emperor.

Joseph, please.

We don't use formal titles here.

Quite a contrast to Versailles.

I'll take that as a compliment.

How's my little sister?

A handful.

[chuckles] Well, come and meet her mother.

[Joseph] Mother, Louis du Rohan, our new French ambassador.

It is an honour to meet you, Empress.

Why is he dressed as a clown?

France is our ally, Ma.

Allies don't garrison their troops on our border.

When are you going to remove them, Ambassador?

I'm waiting to receive instructions from the Prime Minister.

That's what you call d'Aiguillon?

We call him Du Barry's toy boy.

Ma!

How did you wangle your position?

Madame du Barry recommended me to the King.

Ah, another stooge.

Perhaps we should ask Du Barry for her permission to invade Poland?

The King will decide in his own time.

Who should I report to?

[Joseph] Me.

My son may rule with me, Rohan...

I do rule with you, Ma.

I call the shots.

[Madame du Barry] Where are you off to, France?

Breakfast.

Will you be back for tea?

Don't be so clingy, my love.

It's really not your style.

Well, perhaps you could ask her to show me just... a teensy bit of respect.

[knocks on the door] [door opening] Papa Roi.

May I come in?

Try this one.

It's delicious.

[Marie Antoinette gasps, laughs] [squeals in excitement] Mama.

Mama won't allow me.

Well, where is mama?

I don't see her.

Mama!

Come out of hiding, Empress.

Come on, I want a word with you.

Oh, oh.

Oh!

[laughs] [Marie Antoinette] Thank you.

Thank you, Papa Roi.

Come with me.

This is Louis' apartment.

Where is he sleeping?

The West Wing.

I'll deal with that.

Oh, come here.

Will you do me a favour, little Dauphine?

[Marie Antoinette] Hmm?

Will you be polite to the Countess?

Make life easier, you know, for both of us?

[gasps] It's cold, Papa Roi.

Why don't we get dressed?

I'll wait for you in the garden for your riding lesson.

[door opens] [door closes] Sire.

The Polish crisis has blown up.

Prussia and Russia are poised to invade.

Should we allow Austria to join in the carve-up?

D'Aiguillon, you are a newcomer here, so I'll forgive your faux pas, but we never discuss business at Fontainebleau.

Hmm.

What the á*á*á*á* is he doing?

I refuse to ask my brother for his permission to marry.

I don't care who you marry, just get on and do it.

She has got to be put in her place.

[Marie Antoinette] Morning, Monsieur.

Before you go, would you mind assisting us with the little Dauphine's seat?

Shouldn't madam be riding side-saddle?

Madam refuses.

[chuckling] Can't you speak to Papa Roi for me?

I have.

He insists that you speak to Louis.

He's hardly a role model.

Learn to fight your corner, Provence.

It's the only way to survive this á*á*á*á* show.

Thank you.

[horse neighing] [tense music playing] Enjoying the view, brother?

Making plans for when it will all be yours?

You can have it.

I could arrange for you to be flung in a ditch.

Would you prefer to be buried alive?

I am buried alive!

Don't deny me my right to be a man.

Don't be pushed into something that you're not ready for.

You married your princess.

I was forced to.

You don't have to make the same mistake.

[scoffs] When are you gonna unbutton your breeches and á*á*á*á*á* your wife?

I can't...

I can't speak to her.

When... when I open my mouth nothing comes out and I'm...

I'm a clumsy fool in her presence.

She is an Austrian Archduchess.

She terrifies me.

Do I have your permission to marry?

Yes.

[sighs] You know, Louis, you put us Bourbons to shame.

You know I shan't waste a moment delivering the heir... brother.

When...

When did he agree?

[Count Mercy] This afternoon.

The princess will be travelling to Fontainebleau without a delay.

Tell me about her, Mercy.

The House of Savoy is a trifle compared to the Habsberg empire.

I want to know about her.

Who?

Josephine.

She is the one who should have married Louis.

You married him.

That's what matters.

The Princess of Savoy is no threat to you, provided you deliver the heir.

I have good news on that front.

Doesn't he need a bed?

Yes.

[Count Mercy] Will you speak to the King?

Why not?

He, uh... makes... me feel... uncomfortable.

I... will arrange all the furnishings.

[Count Mercy] Your husband must be in situ before the Princess arrives.

And when he moves in, you must open your door and step daintily into his bed.

[door opens] [door closes] [knocking] [King Louis XV] Little Dauphine.

[door opens] I can't sleep in my apartment.

Someone may creep in and... [Lamballe] Stay with me, Toinette.

[Marie Antoinette sighs] I'll look after you.

I like... being here with you.

Still no joy with the wife?

[Louis-Auguste] I visited the Dauphine.

She was not there.

I shall not visit her again.

[door creaking] Leave us alone.

I can't imagine what exquisite decadence you two like to indulge in.

Why don't you let me watch?

You are a monster!

[Theresa] If she did her duty, the rival princess would be irrelevant.

She's far too young, Ma.

You should have waited until she was ready.

None of your daughters has found happiness in the arms of their Bourbon princes.

Marriage is not about personal indulgence.

It's their career.

[Joseph] You were born without a heart.

[Theresa] Oh, I don't have time for soul-searching.

Russia and Prussia are poised to invade Poland.

We have been left in limbo because the King of France is too busy teaching Toinette to ride.

Then use Mercy to open up a channel of communication.

[Theresa] I will write to him now.

Thank you.

Thank you, Julie.

Who asked you to make up with bed chamber?

His Majesty.

You went over my head.

Who went over your head?

You did.

I don't know why you're wasting your time preparing this apartment for Louis.

Everyone knows that she prefers to sleep with Lamballe.

Ask her why she wants to separate me from my husband.

Go ahead take orders from your little Dauphine.

Don't listen to her.

[King Louis XV] Ah, ah.

[shushing] And when Louis discovers you here, he will run for his life.

[horse snorting] [Louis-Auguste] Are you riding out?

It's, um... time for you to work.

To go inside now.

Your apartment is ready.

It can wait.

Is there something wrong with you, boy?

[yells] Will you look at me?

Should I be getting the La Martiniere to examine you?

Perhaps there is a medical reason for the lack of interest in your wife.

We are supposed to be having fun.

[Madame du Barry] France.

Where the hell are you?

I've been looking for you everywhere.

Until she publicly acknowledges me in front of your family, you will be spending your nights alone.

[panting] Austria requests that you withdraw your troops in preparation for the partition of Poland.

Another war.

[Count Mercy] You are our ally, sire.

Surely we can find a solution that benefits both sides?

Oh, do wake up, Mercy.

Our alliance is collapsing around our ears, our children are refusing to honour their marriage contract and I am caught in the middle between a little Dauphine and the bloody Countess.

I'm fighting on both fronts, Sire.

As am I.

The Dauphin will move into his apartment this evening.

Hmm.

Thank you, sire.

Oh, um...

I was in my grandson's bed chamber this morning.

I...

I saw something I have never seen before in all my time at court.

It was a boy... dressed in a maids uniform and she... she bowed to me, hmm.

Chambermaids are notorious for spying on behalf of ambassadors.

Do you know that?

So I...

I am wondering which ambassador might have planted him there, Mercy.

I will look into it.

How may I help on the other matter?

A public truce at the fete champetre in exchange for a... a free reign in Poland.

Yes, sire.

Why can't I meet her in private?

The King insists on a public reconciliation.

[laughs] The King.

I won't do it.

I won't do it.

[Count Mercy] Reflect carefully.

The Princess of Savoy is on her way.

Your position is hanging by a thread.

[clattering] I will leave you to do your duty.

[door opens, closes] [exhales] Stay right where you are.

It's me, my love.

Madam?

You can't lock the King out of your bedchamber.

[knocking] It's France.

Let me in.

He won't be laying his anointed head on my pillow.

Not till his little Dauphine goes down on her hands and knees and crawls to me.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Oh, no, no, no.

No need.

I cannot see her stealing the show.

Welcome to the, uh... to the family, Josephine.

This is Provence.

Where's Provence?

This is, uh, little Dauphine.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

The Duc du Chartres and Madame du Barry.

Princess.

Mesdames.

Welcome, dear Josephine.

We are thrilled to meet you at last.

I've heard so much about you.

The Princess du Lamballe.

Do you remember me, cousin?

[Josephine] No.

And the Dauphin.

Welcome to Fontainebleau.

Did you have a comfortable journey?

Thank you, monsieur.

I did.

Please...

Please call me Louis.

Shall we go in now?

[Adelaide] Ghastly.

[Victoire] Dreadful.

[Provence] My thoughts exactly.

How could you have suggested her, Mesdames?

[Victoire] Josephine?

[Adelaide] She's perfect.

[Provence] Are you blind?

She was exhausted.

[Victoire] From her journey.

She has got to go.

[Adelaide] She has come to deliver the heir.

You have a job to do, Provence.

[Josephine] No, argh.

[Madame du Barry] Nearly there.

[Josephine] Is that really necessary?

It's... vital.

You're in France now.

God knows how your family managed to fornicate back in Turin.

[screams] [Madame du Barry] What do you think?

I look like I've been stung by a thousand bees.

[servant] The King.

[drum beating] [Duc de Chartres] Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Merry England.

The celebration of all things English.

[folk music playing] [Josephine] Why won't Provence speak to me?

[Victoire] Give him time.

[Adelaide] He can't wait to marry you.

I should be Louis' wife.

Yes, yes.

[crowd cheering] [Count Mercy] The Dauphine will pay her respects to the Countess this evening.

[King Louis XV] There will be no deal on Poland unless she does, Mercy.

I hold you responsible.

You picked her.

You manipulated me for your own agenda.

The marriage was your idea.

I should never have listened to a Parisian tart.

What is it with you Bourbon princes?

Why don't you want to á*á*á*á*?

Who'd want to á*á*á*á* her?

I wonder whether a woman is what you're looking for, Provence.

[Count Mercy] Are you prepared for tonight?

[Marie Antoinette] I'm thinking about it.

[Count Mercy] Your mother is waiting.

Send her back, Papa Roi.

I can't marry her.

You already have.

The contract was signed before she left Turin.

[cheering] [upbeat folk music playing] [chatting indistinctly] There will be consequences for Austria.

Is Josephine... the girl you wanted to marry?

Is that what this was all about?

Huh?

[scoffs] Was I destined to fail from the start?

[scoffs] No, no!

I won't open this door until you speak to me.

[cries] To what do I owe this pleasure, Ambassador?

I have news of the little Dauphine, Empress.

[Theresa] Tell me.

She is making quite an impression at Fontainebleau.

Is she?

Your daughter is still refusing to speak to Madame du Barry.

The King has understandably taken it as an affront to his dignity.

It won't be long before he slings her out of France and sends her back to you.

It won't be long before I sling you out, Rohan.

[Theresa] The French ambassador has informed me of your conduct at Fontainebleau.

Understand me, Toinette.

I will no longer tolerate your unruly behaviour.

If the King asks you to jump, you jump.

You will make peace with the Countess.

You will perform your duty to France and to Austria.

You are a disgrace to me and a traitor to your country.

[horse neighing] [gasps] Please...

Please, Papa Roi.

I can explain.

I can explain.

You're hurting me.

I am the King of France.

[Marie Antoinette gasps] I expect you to obey me.

Do you understand?

Get out.

[tense music playing] Countess.

[serene music playing] [dogs barking] Austria has invaded Poland.

The King negotiated directly with Vienna.

Rohan was not informed.

I don't give a á*á*á*á*, d'Aiguillon.

France delivered for me, that's all I care about.

[laughs] Thank you.

Thank you... for your patience.

[knocking on door] You happy now?

You old fool.

And you are a naughty, but... magnificent woman.

I don't feel safe here.

Your family, they... frighten me.

I want out.

I wanna go home.

Don't leave me.

I will protect you.

[tender music playing] [music continues] To order Marie Antoinette on DVD, visit ShopPBS or call 1-800-PLAY-PBS This program is also available on Amazon Prime Video ♪ ♪